you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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