shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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