having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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