My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
