It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
