just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
