His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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