me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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