She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize