her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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