real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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