Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
