Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm jealous of your bromance
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wish there were birth control emojis
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
how drunk are you?
Several
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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