I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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