I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
