Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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