Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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