i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
