At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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