cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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