He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
