Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
