yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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