I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Can i not drive my cunt home
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
