yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
