Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize