I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
