did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
