I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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