we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
