her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
