She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
