I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
