I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
