I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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