so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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