i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
