why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
