He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
