I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
