So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
