Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
