i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
