Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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