What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
