Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
