CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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