Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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