have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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