btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
