i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
this is an emotional support booty call
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
