well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
