Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
