I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
