People with herpes should wear stickers.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
