girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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