it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
