I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
