I heard we made out
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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