I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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