It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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