ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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