Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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