he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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