your thong is hanging out like whoa
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
