:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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