You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
