her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
