The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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