i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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