You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
