Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
