You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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