I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
